


We are in a Constant State of Becoming

by ubermensch98



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Angst, But just a little, Canonical Character Death, Coming Out, Disaster bi Sokka, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Internalized Biphobia, Internalized Homophobia, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Pining Sokka, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, maiko, musician zuko, sokka/yue - Freeform, suki/sokka friendship, zukka - Freeform, zukka is endgame, zuko hates himself
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24670036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ubermensch98/pseuds/ubermensch98
Summary: University is a chance to reinvent yourself, to better understand yourself.Sokka is a first year engineering student with more than his fair share of self doubts ever since his mother - Kya - passed. He carries a lot of regrets and words left unsaid. Zuko is the son of a successful business man who has been banished from home until he completes his business degree and can work for the family. Problem is, he'd much rather be a musician.It's hard to love yourself. Sometimes, you need someone else to come along and teach you how to do it.(Zukka College/Band AU)
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 47
Kudos: 113





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I will probably update the tags as i flesh out the story more. This is the first time i've ever really had a full story in mind so that's wack. of course, it's gotta be angst so i can stay on brand. Really i think i just wanted an excuse to write emo zuko lol. thanks to my friends who helped with editing/concept building.

Sokka let out a sigh as he collapsed onto his bed. The last of his boxes were unpacked. He was officially moved into university.

He looked around the dorm room set to be his home for the coming year. There was a desk, a twin sized bed, a bookshelf, and a closet. It was a small space, nothing fancy. Even so, it did not feel that way thanks to the large window which looked out to the city from the 8 th floor. Sokka turned his gaze out the window. The sun hung low in the sky and cast a warm golden glow over the streets. He could see the traffic, cars bumper to bumper, everyone rushing to get home.

He closed his eyes and took in the moment.

Growing up in the suburbs, he had always felt like he was right on the cusp of something big. The city was always right there, just ever so slightly out of reach. No matter how many weekends he and his friends spent downtown, they were still outsiders. There was just so much happening in Toronto, more than they could ever see. But now, Sokka was right in the middle of it, he was a part of it.

Sokka opened his eyes. He let out a breath, pulled out his phone, and opened up facetime. The screen was black for a moment, but then lit up with a familiar face.

“Suki!” Sokka grinned.

Her brown hair was tied up in a messy ponytail, and her cheeks were slightly flushed from unpacking her things. “Hey, Sokka!” She replied, “How’s university?”

“So far so good. My dad and Katara helped with the move earlier today. They left early so Katara could catch her flight to BC. I just finished unpacking now. How’s college?”

“Right! I still can’t believe she chose a school on the other side of the country, that’s wild. As for college; not even 12 hours in and I’ve already been offered two drinks and a joint,” she reported.

“Ah yes, this is why students are the backbone of our society. Did you take them up on the offer?”

“Nah, my folks were sticking around to take me out for food after the move.”

“Coward.” Sokka joked.

Suki laughed.

There was a beat.

“It’s going to be weird not living so close to each other anymore,” Sokka said with a twinge of sadness.

He and Suki had been friends since middle school. Her house was only only a few blocks away from Sokka’s back in the suburbs. They had spent countless hours getting up to teenage shenanigans together. But now there was a whole city between them.

“Come one, I’m not that far. Just an hour and a half by transit.”

“Oh, so it’ll be no problem for you to visit me then, glad to hear it!”

“Like hell, our friendship isn’t that strong,” Suki teased.

“That cuts deep,” he deadpanned. 

This time they both laughed.

“How are you feeling about everything?” Suki asked. “I know it’s been a tough journey for you to get here, and I’m really proud of you. Kya would be too.”

“Thanks, Suki,” Sokka smiled softly. “I’m nervous but excited. I still can’t believe they let me in. Classes haven’t even started, yet I feel like I’m already leagues behind everyone. I don’t know shit about engineering,” he joked, “what was I thinking?”

“Well of course you don’t, but isn’t that the whole point of going to university? To learn about the thing you want to do so you  _ can  _ do it?”

“Good point,” Sokka sighed. “I just feel a bit like a fraud because I didn’t go straight off to university after high school. I guess it’s just the imposter syndrome getting to me.” There was a beat. “What about you?”

“Hey, I did the same thing. We’re in this together.” Suki smiled at him through the screen of his phone. There was a warmth in her words, and a tenderness that calmed Sokka’s nerves. “Even if I’m not physically there, I’m always here for you. And I  _ suppose  _ I could always brave the hour and a half trek to see you, but I expect payment in the form of pizza.”

Sokka laughed. “Of course. I appreciate the sacrifice.”

As much as they teased each other, both knew the truth. They would always be ready to go the distance for one another. Their time together in high school proved that.

…

Orientation week came and went, and before Sokka knew it, classes had begun. So far he’d only gotten lost on campus twice and had managed to make a handful of friends. He had a mission: make at least one friend in each lecture so that if he ever had questions, he wouldn’t have to go straight to the prof. 

Next on his schedule was PHL275:  _ Intro to Aesthetics in Philosophy – _ an elective course. He walked into the lecture hall, phone in one hand, laptop in the other. Head down, scrolling through some memes, Sokka made a beeline for the seats in the back left. So far that was where he had the best luck meeting people. It wasn’t until he was a few feet away that he realized someone else had already grabbed a seat in his preferred spot. Which wasn’t a problem; but, Sokka was not getting a friendly vibe off this guy.

In the chair sat a student, probably the same age as Sokka. He had jet black hair with an undercut, several piercings, and what looked to be like quite the burn over his left eye. A red dragon tattoo on his upper right arm peaked out from his black t-shirt. He had his headphones in and laptop out. If people had signs over their heads, his would probably say something like “Fuck Off”.

Sokka looked around, seats were filling up fast. _Well, too late to turn around now_. Sokka thought to himself, and he went to sit down beside the stranger. As he pulled out his chair the dark-haired man glanced up.Sokka nodded his head in greeting. 

“Hey,” he said. 

“Hi.” The stranger replied before turning his head back to his laptop, killing any hope for conversation. 

_ Great seating choice, Sokka.  _ He thought to himself. But it was fine, they had tutorials after this, and he’d probably get a chance to chat with someone friendlier there. He shrugged it off and got ready for the lecture.

...

“… And if you have any questions my office hours are on Wednesday’s from four to five, but you can always send me an email if you want to meet at another time.” Professor Piandao said. “Some of you have your tutorials right after this, I encourage you to use that time to get to know your fellow peers. Remember, all of Socrates’ work was done in conversation! Share your ideas and learn – not just from me – but from one another.” He gave a warm smile, and with that, the lecture was over.

The hall filled with the sound of rustling papers, bags zipping, and general chatter. Sokka took another quick glance at the student beside him. The man had already put his headphones back in and was sliding his laptop into his bag.

_ Jeez, this guy packs up fast _ .

It didn’t matter, Sokka had a tutorial to catch.

…

Sokka paused outside the door to his tutorial room to catch his breath. He mentally upped the number of times he got lost this week to three. Somewhere along the way he took a wrong turn and ended up having to double back. But, it was fine, he wasn’t late. There was still - he glanced at this phone - 35 second before it was supposed to start. Even though he knew he was allowed to be late for class, he also knew that his mom would never let him hear the end of it if he was. 

After taking a deep breath he walked into the classroom. It was already pretty much full, except for one seat off to the left, right beside someone with jet black hair and a red dragon tattoo. 

_ Great _ . Sokka thought.  _ It’s that guy from the lecture. _

Once again, Sokka nodded his head in greeting, “Hey.”

Once again, he was met with a dry “Hi,” from the stranger.

Sokka settled into his seat. 

“Alright,” their TA began, “it’s ten past, so I’m going to start the tutorial. Before we get into it, I just want to go around and have everyone give their name, pronouns, year, and field of study. That way I can get a feel for where you all stand in terms of experience with philosophy. I can go first, I’m Jin– she/her, I am a graduate student working on my master’s degree in philosophy.”

She pointed to the student in front of her, and one by one people gave their brief introductions. Eventually all eyes were on Sokka, it was his turn.

“Hey, I’m Sokka, my pronouns are he/him. I’m a first year working on an engineering major and philosophy minor.”

The eyes collectively redirected their focus on the student to his right.

“Zuko. He/him. I’m a second year, in business and music.”

Music was not what Sokka expected to hear from the mystery man, but then again, he wasn’t quite sure  _ what  _ he expected. At least now he had a name for the person who wasn’t interested in talking to him.

The rest of the hour was mainly spent on admin stuff. What to expect from the course, resources for essay writing, things to keep in mind while reading the texts, etc.

“Well, that’s pretty much it. You’re free to go. Tutorials are going to pick up next week so be ready for some class discussions.” Jin concluded.

Sokka began to pack up.

“Hey.” Said a voice.

Sokka turned in mild surprise to see it was Zuko talking to him. “Uh, hey.”

“You were, um, beside me in the lecture, right?”

“That’s me,” Said Sokka.

There was a pause. Zuko readjusted his bag on his shoulder. Then he spoke, “You want to swap contact info?”

“Sure!” Sokka gave him a smile, pulled out his phone, and opened up a new contact before handing it over to Zuko. “I like your tattoo by the way.”

Zuko took a moment, as if registering that it was him Sokka was talking to. “Thanks.”

There was a beat.

_ Alright, cool. This is going  _ great _.  _ Sokka thought to himself sarcastically. This Zuko guy was hard to read.

Now that he was actually facing him, Sokka noticed that Zuko had intense, golden eyes. His jaw was sharp as hell, and – wow – this guy was  _ built _ .

“I sent myself a text.” Zuko said, pulling Sokka from his thoughts. He handed back the phone. “I’ll see you around, Sokka.”

“Right…” Sokka said.

And with that, Zuko was out the door. Sokka looked down at his phone. The outgoing text simply read:

_ Sokka, PHL275. _


	2. Chapter 2

It was Friday afternoon in one of the many campus libraries. Dust danced in the warm rays of sun that filtered in through the windows. Soft sounds of chairs moving on carpet, laptop keys clacking, and papers rustling could be heard in the otherwise silent establishment. There was the smell of old books and dust.

Sokka let out a yawn as he raised his arms in a stretch. For the past several hours he had been holed up at a desk trying to catch up on work. Just him, his assignments, and a black coffee. It was crazy. Only one week into university but things were already piling up. Between classes and work, Sokka was so busy he didn’t even notice the weekend until it was there.

He pulled out his phone.  _ Just a quick break from studying. I deserve it _ .

A little symbol at the top of the screen alerted him of an unread message. As Sokka opened up the app, he paused momentarily. His thumb hovered over the outgoing text from the other day.

_ Sokka, PHL275. _

_ What a weird guy.  _ He thought.

He redirected his attention to the unread text. It was from Bato, an old friend of his dad’s and an uncle to him and Katara in every way but blood. The text read:

_ Hey Sokka! Hope your first week of classes went well. I’m beyond proud of you! If you need to unwind there’s a show going on at the Tiger Seal Tavern tonight. Let me know if you’re interested and I can put you and a friend on the list. Doors are at 8, first set at 9. _

Sokka leaned back in the chair.

This was quite the dilemma. On one hand, he still had a few readings left to do and work shifts all weekend. On the other hand, he had been waiting literal years for Bato to let him see a show at the Tiger Seal Tavern (Bato refused to let Sokka in until he was of age).

_ Fuck it _ .  _ I’m going. _

It would be nice to see a familiar face.

…

That evening Sokka found himself standing outside the Tiger Seal Tavern. It was a small bar on the west end, nestled between a coffee shop and thrift store. A couple people were gathered out front, smoking. Amidst the smell of cigarette smoke, he felt a slight chill in the air; the first signs of fall. He glanced up and down the grey streets for Bato’s familiar face.

“What are you waiting outside for?” said a voice.

Sokka turned. “Bato!” He smiled.

“Hey, kid.” The older man pulled him into a big hug. “Just you tonight?”

“Yeah,” Sokka said, sheepishly. “It was a bit last minute for my old friends since they’re all scattered about, and I still haven’t really gotten a chance to get to know anyone at University.”

“Don’t worry, it’ll happen. That stuff takes time.” Bato gave a warm smile. “Come inside, I’ll get you a drink.” He guided Sokka past the bouncer, through a set of double doors, and into a dimly lit room. “Welcome, to the Tiger Seal Tavern.”

The general chatter of several small conversations filled the air and mixed with the music playing on the speakers, a song by The Cure.

Sokka looked around, the vibe was vastly different from the previous concerts he’d been to. Most notably, he had never attended a show this small before (both in size and in numbers). The space felt as though it couldn’t have been that much bigger than two of Sokka’s high school classrooms combined. There were maybe 25 people scattered about, others still trickling in. Instead of a wide range of pre-teens to adults, everyone here was around his age, late teens to early twenties. They all seemed to be dressed as if they had come straight off the set of some coming of age indie film. Sokka glanced down at his plain black t-shirt and washed out jeans and thought that maybe he should have put a bit more thought into what he was wearing that night.

Opposite the entrance was a small stage with an old looking drum set, two amps, a mic stand, and wires littered about. It stood about a meter off the ground near the back wall with curtains on either side. A swath of purple light bled from the stage, painting the floor and benches on either side of the room, and casting sharp shadows onto the wall. A support beam stood to the right of the dance floor. There was a small table off to the left of the entrance. Taped to the front of it, was a piece of wrinkled paper with the words “10 DOLLAR COVER// CASH ONLY” scrawled in messy sharpie.

Bato waved at the person sitting beside the table then motioned to Sokka, “He’s with me.”

Sokka gave a small wave and followed Bato to the bar.

“How’s it going, June.” Bato asked the goth looking bartender.

She had long dark hair in a loose bun and matching red snake tattoos on her upper arms.

“Hey. What can I get you, Bato?”

“One IPA and…” He looked back at Sokka, waiting for an answer.

“A rum and coke, please.”

“One rum and coke, for my nephew!”

“IPA and a rum n’ coke, sure thing.” she said. She turned to the fridge behind her and pulled out a can of beer. She cracked it open and placed it in front of Bato before starting to scoop ice into a plastic cup. As she did that, she gave Sokka a smile, “I’m June, by the way.”

“Sokka.” He smiled back.

“Oh, I know.” She chuckled, “Bato doesn’t shut up about you and your sister.” There was a  _ hiss _ as she filled the cup with coke. “It’s endearing, in an annoying sort of way.” She set the clear cup on the counter, topped it off with a slice of lime, and pushed it towards Sokka. “Either way, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Thanks. I don’t know what he’s been telling you, all good thing, I hope.” Sokka joked.

“Mm, define: good.” She quipped.

Bato laughed. “June, I’m trying to  _ foster _ my relationship with Sokka here, not ruin it.” He placed some money on the counter as June redirected her attention to another customer. Bato turned to Sokka with his beer raised. “Here’s to you making it through your first week of university! I’m proud of you.”

Sokka clinked his plastic cup against the can with a small “Thanks.”

They took a sip from their drinks.

“So, what’s the lineup for tonight?” Sokka asked.

“Our headliner is a pretty well-known group in the local scene, they go by Freedom Fighters. They got a heavy rock/experimental vibe. First act is a small punk rock group called The Southern Raiders. But the second performer is the one I think you’ll like best. He’s a single act, the kid can’t be much older than you; I’m forgetting their name though. Either way, he’s got an interesting sound – all done with his guitar and computer. Reminds me of that one group you used to play a lot, what were they called again? Car Seat Armrest?”

“Car Seat Headrest,” Sokka corrected him.

Before either of them could say anything else, the sound of a guitar being plugged in pulled their attention to the end of the room. Three people stood on stage, instruments at the ready. The Drummer tapped their sticks together one count of four. And with that, the small space was filled with the explosive sound of raw, DIY, punk rock.

Sokka grinned and took another sip of his rum and coke, letting the sugary booze relax him. He nodded his head to the beat.

…

“Thank you, you guys have been great.” The lead singer said as the final notes of their last song died out. “We’ve been The Southern Raiders.” The group began to pack up their things. 

Bato turned to Sokka. “So, what did you think?”

Before Sokka could answer, they were interrupted by a loud voice.

“Bato!”

The man in question turned towards the voice. “Ah, Toph! I was wondering if you stuck around.” He clasped a hand on the newcomer’s shoulder. 

She was a young-looking girl. Her height, or lack thereof, was emphasized as she stood next to Bato’s towering figure. Sokka noticed a piercing over her left eyebrow, the silver metal peeked out between messy black bangs that came down over her green eyes. In one hand she held a white cane.

“Sokka, this is Toph. Toph,” Bato gently adjusted her stance so she was facing his nephew, “Sokka.”

They exchanged greetings.

“This is perfect timing, Toph.” Bato said, “I actually have to get heading out, I was only going to stay for the one set. My–” There was a big yawn, as if to emphasize his next point, “–body ain’t what it used to be.”

“Don’t worry about me, get your beauty sleep.” Sokka said, “I’m sure I’ll survive without you.”

“I appreciate your understanding, at least now I don’t feel bad abandoning you.” Bato joked. He gave Sokka a quick hug, “Here,” Bato slid a 20-dollar bill in Sokka’s hand as he pulled away. “Don’t forget to have fun tonight.  _ Responsibly,  _ of course.” 

“ _ Of course _ . And thanks, Bato.”

“Don’t worry about it, kid. Have a good night.” He then turned to Toph, “Keep an eye – er –  _ ear  _ on things.”

Toph gave him a mock salute, “You got it, chief.”

…

“So, what’s your job around here?” Sokka asked as he and Toph walked towards the bar for another drink.

“Eh, I do a lot of miscellaneous work, but officially I deal with bookings and lineups. I like to think I have a good ear for music, and Bato seems to agree.”

“Another Rum and Coke?” June asked as they approached the bar.

“Yeah, can you make it a double shot?” Sokka asked.

“Sure thing.”

The sounds of wires being plugged in and instruments being tuned alerted the crowd that the next set was getting ready. June placed the drink on the bar. Sokka handed her a 20 and took a sip of his spiked Cola. As she gave him back his change, a familiar voice rang out in the small space.

“Hi.”

Sokka nearly choked on his drink. He turned his head towards the stage.

“Zuko here. Or, I guess I’m Blue Spirit. Thanks for coming out tonight.” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kind comments! I really appreciate it! If anyone is interested I imagine Zuko playing music that sounds like Joy Division and Car Seat Headrest (especially the 2011 Twin Fantasy album). And thanks to my friends who helped with this chapter!

Chapter 3

Zuko stood on the stage, alone. His shoulders were hunched as if to make himself seem smaller. In his hands he held a bass guitar, to his side a laptop was propped up. 

He spoke into the mic, “This first one is called: Dragon of the West.”

Toph tilted her head at the sound of Sokka coughing.

“You good?” She asked, voice raised over the music as Zuko started to play. 

Sokka cleared his throat. “Yeah, I’m good.” He said. “I just wasn’t expecting to see my classmate performing.”

“Oh?”

“I’ll explain after the set,” Sokka said, with a wave of his hand.

…

Sokka found himself entranced by Zuko’s performance.

The twinkly bass melody demonstrated the dark-haired performer’s musical talent, as his fingers danced across the instrument’s neck in a complex pattern. It was offset by the dark, almost cacophonous synth sounds playing from the laptop. When Zuko sang, his voice was deep – full of rough imperfections. Somehow, it all melded together perfectly. The melodic guitar held together the chaotic synth, and only served to emphasize the deep emotion in his voice. The sound was reminiscent of late 1970s post punk. Zuko pulled away from the mic as he finished the chorus. He swayed to the beat, head down, eyes closed, shoulders now relaxed. Lost in the music. He tapped the pedal at his feet, distorting the sound of his guitar, and launched into a complex riff.

Far too soon, the set was over. The music was replaced with applause and the occasional cheer.

“So, you know the performer who was just on?” Toph asked.

“Sort of,” Said Sokka. “I only met him earlier this week, we’ve got a lecture together. I have no clue what the etiquette is here.” He joked, “Do I go say hi?”

Toph shrugged. Before she could say anything, she was cut off by June.

“Hey, Toph!” June called from the bar. “They’re having some technical difficulties on stage. Can you give them a hand?”

“Sorry,” Toph said to Sokka. “Duty calls.”

Sokka watched as she made her way over to the stage to help the next set with their setup. His eyes traveled across the room, which had filled up a bit over the past two performances. Most people were chatting with their friends or on their phones. His eyes landed on Zuko, who was talking to two girls. One had a sharp, angular face, dressed in dark colours, with a brooding presence. The other was dressed head to toe in pink, with a braid down her back. They seemed to be good friends. 

He downed the rest of his drink, letting the rum warm his core. This was a mistake. Sokka’s head began to spin and he was reminded of the fact that he hadn’t eaten since lunch. The pulsing lights from the stage, general loud chatter, and vague smell of sweat, nicotine, and booze did not help the situation. Suddenly, he found himself struggling to take in oxygen. It felt like everything was too much all at once.

_ I need some air.  _ He thought.

…

Sokka stepped outside the bar and was greeted by a chill of fresh air. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, settling his nerves. A few cars whipped past. The dark sky was tinted grey from all the smog and light pollution. Only a few stars managed to shine through.

He checked his phone.

_ 11:08pm. Two unread messages _ .

Sokka swiped the screen open.

_ Sister Dearest (Katara): Look at this cute dog! <3 [Image attached] _

_ Sister Dearest (Katara): Also, almost threw hands with my prof today. _

Sokka smiled. It seemed his sister was already comfortable at her new school.

He looked up from his phone, the artificial light was irritating his head. As Sokka did so, he ended up locking eyes with someone stepping out of the bar. Gold eyes met blue.

_ Zuko. _

There was a beat. A car raced past. 

Sokka gave a small nod. “Hey.” 

Zuko made his way over to him. The night’s scent clung to his grey shirt – nicotine and beer. “Hey. Sokka, PHL275, right?”

“That’s me.” Sokka nodded. “Sick set.”

“Thanks.” Said Zuko. He took out a cigarette. “You mind if I smoke?”

“Go for it.”

Zuko gave a soft thanks and lit the cigarette. The flickering flame of his lighter illuminated his face. Sokka could see Zuko’s sharp cheekbones and the bags under his eyes.

“So, how long have you been playing?” Sokka asked. 

Zuko tilted his head back and exhaled. He watched as the cloud of smoke drifted off into the smog filled night. “I’ve been playing music since I was a kid, but I only started playing shows this past year.” He turned to look at Sokka. “This is my first time running into a classmate, though.”

Sokka shoved his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t think I would run into anyone I knew tonight.”

Zuko shrugged. “The local music scene is pretty small. You might be surprised by how many people you know.” He tapped the ashes off his cigarette. “What brings you out?”

“My uncle owns the bar. We were catching up.”

“Oh, cool.”

Another beat. This time a bus drove past. Sokka watched as the blue and orange lights reflected in the dark windows of the storefront across the street. 

“You said you’re in music and – it was business, right?” Sokka asked, breaking the silence. Part of him determined to accomplish his goal of befriending this classmate. Part of him interested in figuring this stranger out.

“Yup.” Zuko said. He took a long drag of the cigarette. Sokka watched as the ember inched closer the musician’s mouth. 

“That’s quite the combo.”

Zuko snorted. “You could say that.” Another cloud of smoke drifted off into the night sky. “My father is the one paying for my education, on the condition that I complete a business degree. He doesn’t support the arts.”

“Shit, man. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. At least I get to pick my minor. As long as I have my music I’m good. Plus, this way I’m lucky enough to not have to worry about tuition.”

“That’s true.” Sokka agreed. “University is not cheap.”

“What about you?” Zuko asked.

“What about me?” Sokka echoed.

“What are you studying? I remember hearing something about engineering?”

“Yup, engineering major and philosophy minor.” Sokka confirmed.

“That’s a nice combo. You like what you’re doing?”

“I think so.” Sokka said with a small laugh. “I’m only a week in, so it’s hard to tell.”

“Oh, you’re in first year?” Zuko waved his hand, as if to dismiss Sokka’s doubts, “You’ve got plenty of time to figure this stuff out.”

“Well, I did take some time off after high school to think about things. Hopefully, I got it right.”

“That’s smart.” He took another drag. “I wish I could have done that. But my father would’ve disowned me.” Zuko said with a dry laugh.

“You could always take a year off now.” Sokka suggested. 

“Ha. Trust me, that man has my whole life planned out, and there are no breaks in it. It’s high school, then university, then straight into the family business.”

“Wow. That’s…” Sokka searched for the right word, “intense.”

Zuko shrugged again. The ember of the cigarette inched ever closer to his lips as he took another drag. “I’m just trying to make it through university so I can start doing some good for the company.”

“An admirable goal.”

“That’s what I keep telling myself.”

A pause.

“How many years do you have left?” Sokka asked. 

“I’m in second year, so two more.” Another puff of smoke. “Oh, I guess that puts us both at 19.”

“Guess so.”

Once again, the conversation fell into silence. Sokka looked out across the now empty street. There were no more cars in sight. His buzz was gone, and as the warmth from the alcohol faded, the chill of the night was starting to sink in. Zuko took a final puff of his cigarette and let it fall to the ground. Sokka watched as he stomped out the ember with his boot and let one last cloud of smoke out into the night through parted lips. The faint sounds of music starting to play drifted out from the venue. Neither man made a move to go inside.

The bar door opened, and a woman’s voice called out.

“Zuko!” It was one of the girls Zuko had been speaking with earlier. The one with the sharp face. She made her way over to the two of them and wrapped her arms around Zuko’s neck. She rested her chin on his shoulder and asked in a bored tone. “Ty Lee and I are gonna be heading out soon. You want to split an Uber with us?”

“Who’s your friend?” Asked another, far bubblier voice. The girl in all pink popped out from behind them.

“Oh, um,” Zuko shifted slightly, adjusting to the new weight. “This is Sokka. Sokka, this is Mai,” he motioned to the girl with her arms around him, “and Ty lee.” He motioned to the girl beside him.

Sokka waved. Ty lee smiled back. Mai nodded.

“So, are you coming or not?” Mai asked.

“Sure, let me just grab my things.” Zuko said. “It was nice talking with you.” He said to Sokka.

“Yeah, see you in 275.” Said Sokka.

…

Sokka made his way back inside. The third set was playing hard and loud. A few people were moshing in the front. He went up to the bar and ordered a double shot of spiced rum. He sipped the drink and felt a warmth in his chest once again as he re-entered the familiar buzz. He made his way over to Toph.

“Looks like you sorted out the tech problems.” Sokka said over the music.

“Oh, hey! Welcome back.” She said.

“Sorry for disappearing, had to step out for some air.”

“No worries. Did you catch your music friend?”

“Yeah.” Said Sokka. 

He downed the rest of his rum. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey folks it's been a minute. I have not forgotten or abandoned this piece I'm just back to working full time and lost motivation for a bit. Here's another short chapter because i only ever write things that are under 2k words i guess lol. Thanks for you patience, any comments or critiques are more than welcome, i love hearing your feedback!

Work was long and draining. The first half was painfully slow, and left Sokka with nothing but his thoughts and the occasional window shopper. He wasn’t sure if it was just because of the hangover – an ever-present reminder of his less than stellar choices – but Sokka couldn’t seem to get the previous night out of his mind. He kept seeing Zuko and that cigarette, the embers forever inching closer to his mouth. The conversation they had had played over and over again in Sokka’s mind. His brain was working in overdrive, dissecting every little thing, trying to understand this stranger.

As things picked up, Sokka was pulled from his thoughts and instead forced to deal with customers. By the time his shift ended the hangover was gone, taking all thoughts of Zuko along with it. It was instead replaced by Sokka’s aching body and thoughts of his bed. 

Sokka stifled a yawn as he walked onto the subway platform. It was a Saturday evening and the station was full of people heading out. There was a cold draft blowing through from the tunnels. A stray receipt tumbled across the dirty tracks. The laughter of a group of girls on the other platform floated over to his ears.

Sokka began to untangle his headphones.

“Sokka?”

He looked up and saw a woman walking towards him, her arms extended for a hug. He was struck by her stunning white hair. There was only one person this could be. 

“Yue!” Said Sokka, he took her in an embrace. “How’s it going?”

She gave him a warm smile. “Hey! It’s going well. I’m just running some errands while downtown. How are you?”

“I’m doing alright, better now that I’m not working.” He laughed. “I didn’t realize you were back in Toronto, I thought you were studying abroad.”

“I  _ was _ . Not so much anymore. I realized I rushed into my program without really thinking about it. I decided I needed a break and a chance to rethink things.”

“Makes sense. I guess that puts you back with your parents?”

She nodded. “It was a bit rough after having spent the year away from home, but I’m glad to be back.”

“I can only imagine. Hahn must be happy that you’re back, though.”

Yue opened her mouth to answer but was interrupted by the rumble of the subway. There was a large gust of wind as it pulled into the station. A ding alerted the passengers of the opening doors and Sokka and Yue moved off to the side.

“Hahn and I…” She trailed off and stepped into the subway car.

Sokka followed.

“We broke up.” She said.

Another ding. The doors closed.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Said Sokka.

“Don’t be, it was a natural end to our relationship. Honestly, after having dated throughout most of high school, in the end it just felt like it was time to go our separate ways.” Yue put on a smile.

“That makes sense.” Sokka said, unsure of what else to say.

They stood in silence. The only sound was the rumbling of the subway car on the tracks.

“So,” Yue broke the silence, “how’s your family doing?”

“Oh, you know.” Sokka made a vague hand gesture. “Katara is off at UBC now, she seems to be having fun. As for my dad, he’s keeping himself busy with work. Still traveling a lot.”

“That’s good.” Yue said.

“Next stop: College station.” The subway voice said.

They continued to chat. Yue asked about Sokka’s program. Sokka asked about Yue’s friends. While they had not been close in high school, they had always floated on the opposite edges of similar circles, interacting with each other in short spurts. And yet, there was a familiarity in their conversation. A comfortable rhythm that can only be built over the course of several years.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe Ms. Hama said that.” Yue laughed as Sokka recounted a story from High School.

“She genuinely thought that the entire class would shut up if she just laid down on the floor.” Sokka said. “To be fair, we were a nightmare class.”

“I hope she’s having better luck with her current students.”

Sokka smirked, “One can only hope.”

The subway slowed, pulling into the station. Their hands brushed against each other as they reached for a poll to balance themselves. They both pulled away with a quick ‘sorry’ only to laugh as they nearly fell over with the final lurch of the subway. The doors opened with a ding.

Sokka glanced at the map.

“Oh shit! This is my stop. I’ve got to go but it was really nice seeing you!” He said as he moved to exit the vehicle.

“Yeah! We should hang out more! Get home safe!” Yue called after him.

He got out just as the doors dinged shut. Sokka turned and watched the Subway pull out of the station. He waved to Yue through the window of the car. She waved back.

…

Sokka rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He wasn’t quite sure how, but it was Wednesday again. He had a sneaking suspicion that it had something to do with the steady passage of time, which he had lost the ability to keep track of. He pushed open the doors to his philosophy lecture hall and made his way over to his familiar seat. Sokka couldn’t help but notice that Zuko’s seat was empty. Empty it remained for the duration of the lecture.

As the lecture finished up Sokka pulled out his phone. He opened up messages and his fingers hovered over Zuko’s name.

_ I wonder if he’s alright.  _ Sokka thought.

He glanced at the clock in the corner of the screen.

_ Shit. My tutorial.  _ He packed up his things quickly.  _ Maybe I’ll see him there. _

Sokka stepped into the tutorial room and glanced at the left corner of seats. He saw jet black hair and a red dragon tattoo. Zuko was in his seat, laptop out, a single earbud in, and dark bags under his eyes. He took a sip from his coffee cup.

“Missed you in lecture today.” Sokka said as he walked over to his seat.

Zuko placed down his coffee. “Oh, yeah. I had some things I needed to work through. Did I miss anything?”

“I think you’ll be fine as long as you did the readings.”

“Cool. Thanks.”

There was a silence.

Sokka sat down. He couldn’t help but notice the way his classmate smelled of cigarettes and coffee.

“How was the rest of your evening?” Zuko asked.

“On Friday? It was pretty good. The last set went hard.” Sokka replied.

“Sorry for leaving you alone like that.”

“Hey, no worries. I had a friend waiting for me inside.” Sokka paused briefly. “Your friends were nice. You and that one girl seem close.”

“Oh, Mai? Her, Ty Lee, and I go way back. They were best friends with my sister growing up, so I saw them around all the time.”

“It’s nice that they come out and support you like that.”

“I guess so.”

The conversation teetered off as their tutorial began.

…

Zuko snapped his laptop shut as their TA dismissed the class.

“You got another class after this?” Sokka asked.

“Nope. Just work.”

“Oh?”

“I work at my uncle’s boba shop. Helps pay for the music.” Zuko said. He flung his bag over his shoulder.

“That’s cool. Which tea shop is it?”

“The Jasmine Dragon.”

“I’ve heard of that one! My sister says they have the best bubble tea in the city. She’s been bugging me to check it out.”

“Well, if you aren’t busy and want a discounted drink, I got you covered.” Zuko offered with a shrug as he pushed open the door to exit.

“Real shit? I was just going to go study in the library, but I’ll never say no to discounted boba.” Sokka joked.

Zuko gave a small smile. “Cool.”

The cool hair hit their faces as the two students stepped outside. Sokka shoved his hands into his pockets. Zuko lit up a cigarette. With that, the two made their way off campus, towards the tea shop.

…

The Jasmine Dragon was easy to miss. The front of the store was maybe 2 meters wide. There was a simple white door; to the right, the word “TEA” in green neon letters glowed through the window. Zuko held the door open for Sokka. Inside, Sokka could see flyers covering the wall. A collage of countless local events in the city being promoted, each piece of paper clamoring for attention. The wooden floor creaked softly under their feet. The air smelled sweet and there was a general warmth which filled the space.

Zuko nodded a greeting at the person behind the till. He then turned to Sokka. “What drink do you want?” 

Sokka looked up at the menu, contemplating his options. After a moment, he spoke. “The passion fruit green tea sounds good.”

Zuko nodded and stepped up to order. As he did so, he pulled out his wallet.

“Hey, hold up. What do you think you’re doing?” Sokka asked him.

“Paying for your tea.” Zuko said, matter of fact.

“Wait- I- ” Sokka began to protest.

“Too late.” Said Zuko. Before Sokka could get a proper sentence out, Zuko had tapped his card on the machine.

Sokka gave a small laugh, “This is not what I thought you meant by ‘getting me a discount.’” He smiled. “Thank you.”

Zuko returned the smile. “Don’t mention it.”

Sokka felt a warmth in his stomach.

Zuko glanced up at the wall and noticed the clock. “I need to get ready for my shift. Thanks for walking with me to work. Sorry I’m abandoning you again.”

Sokka waved his hand, “It’s all good. You got me some free tea, so we’ll call it even.”

Zuko gave another soft smile. “See you.”

“See you.”

Sokka watched as his classmate disappeared behind the swinging doors into the back of the store. The smell of cigarettes and coffee lingered, and the warmth in his stomach along with it. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm still alive. To those of you still reading, thank you! I really do appreciate all your support and kind words.

“Order 729: Tall Milk Tea with Tapioca?” The barista called out.

There was the sound of hard plastic moving across wood, “Coming.” A familiar voice responded.

“Toph?” Sokka said, more to himself than anyone else, as he caught sight of a short figure picking up their tea from the counter.

The person in question turned towards Sokka’s voice.

“Hey!” Said Sokka. He walked up to her. “It’s Sokka from the show last week. What’s up?”

“Oh! Hey, Sokka. I knew I recognized your voice. How’s it going?”

“I’m good. I was accompanying my friend on their way here for work – actually, it’s the same friend from the concert.”

“No kidding. Lucky them, the Jasmine Dragon’s not a bad place to work. They have my favorite tea in the city, without question.” Toph unwrapped her straw and pierced the top of the cup.“So, what have you been up to?” She took a sip of her drink. 

“Not much. Busy with school, busy with work, there isn’t time for much else.”

“Ah, I do not envy you.”

“Order 658: Regular Passionfruit Green Tea!” The barista announced.

“That’s me.” Sokka went to retrieve his drink.

The condensation had already begun to form on the outside of the cup. Sokka pierced the top with a blue straw and took a sip. The tea was brewed to perfection, not too sweet, not too bitter. Katara was right. This was the best bubble tea in Toronto.

“What are you up to right now?” Toph asked.

“Aside from drinking bubble tea? Nothing in particular.” Sokka answered.

“You smoke?” Toph asked.

“I’m not really one for cigarettes, but if you want to step outside for a smoke, I can keep you company.”

“Well aren’t you sweet.” Toph teased. “But I was thinking more along the lines of a joint.”

“Now that is more my speed.” Sokka said.

Toph gave a crooked smile. “Dope.”

She took him to a park a few blocks east of the shop, located behind the city’s art gallery. It was a large grassy lawn with benches and tall trees scattered about. A playground stood on one side, and a dog park on the other. The leaves were starting to turn, and the resulting yellows and oranges looked beautiful in the afternoon sun. The natural colours stood in stark contrast to the urban greys and browns of the skyscrapers towering around them. The sound of conversation, laughter, and barks mixed with the general hum of city life. Sokka and Toph followed the paved path that curved through the park. Toph’s stick moved back and forth across the cobbled stone.

They found a spot at one of the picnic benches. The red paint had long since chipped away, only a few flecks remained, hinting at what once was. The wood was old and worn, with years of graffiti etched into its being. Toph took a seat and ran her fingers along the grooves.

Sokka sat down next to Toph. He placed his bag beside him and took another sip of his drink. There was a gentle breeze.

“Man, I love this time of year.” Toph said as she reached into her pockets. One hand returned, clasping a small green lighter, the other held a single joint. “There’s just something about the way the air smells, you know?” She lit the joint and took a long drag before passing it to Sokka.

Sokka took the joint. “I get you, it’s just crisper, or something.” He took a deep inhale and let the familiar tasting smoke sit in his lungs for a moment.

Toph pointed at Sokka. “That’s exactly it!” She said through an exhale of smoke. “Crisper!”

Sokka passed back the blunt.

“So, you smoke often?” Toph asked.

Sokka exhaled. “Only on occasion. I prefer to drink.”

“Really? You prefer hangovers?” Toph arched an eyebrow and took a sip of her tea.

_ I prefer the numbness of booze over the numbness of weed. Weed feels too good because it makes me not think about things. I don’t think I can trust that. I don’t think I’m allowed to feel that, there are some things I don’t think I should ignore. Alcohol makes me feel more like me, because it makes me feel confident, but also, like shit. And I think that’s what I deserve to feel like.  _ Sokka shrugged. “I prefer the buzz.” He said.

“To each their own, I suppose.”

She took another hit.

The two sat in silence for a while, drinking their tea. Every so often they passed the joint back and forth.

It was late in the afternoon. The sun was beginning to set and cast warm golden rays across the park’s cobblestone pathways. Leaves littered the ground and crunched beneath the feet of people passing by. Sokka closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He felt the calming numbness of the drug settle into him as the smoke clouded his brain. All the thoughts that had been racing through his head were gone. He leaned back against the bench and tilted back his head as a cool breeze washed over him.

Sokka opened his eyes once more as he reached for a final sip of the tea. He noticed Toph tracing her fingers over a specific set of letters carved into the table. Her index finger brushed across the lines, as if etching them deeper into the wood.

“What’s that say?” Sokka asked.

“Huh?” Toph blinked, “Oh, this? It’s just something stupid someone I used to know graffitied here when we were in high school. It used to say, “FIX ME WITH SOMETHING MEANINGFUL” but most of it has faded with time. Now it just says “FIX ME”.” Her hand went still. “Back in high school my friends and I would come to this park and smoke whenever we skipped class.”

“That’s got some big ‘city kid’ energy.”

Toph laughed. “Eh, it was dumb teen shit. We had fun.”

There was another beat.

Toph tapped the ashes off the end of the joint. “Honestly, I wasn’t even into half the shit we did. But I  _ was _ into one of the girls we did shit with, so that was good enough motive for me.” She shook her head and smirked. “High school me was an idiot.”

Toph took a hit before passing the joint back to Sokka.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. We were all idiots in high school.”

Toph laughed. “Maybe so, but falling for a straight girl is definitely up there as one of the dumber things you can do.”

“Hmmm. Second only to falling for a straight boy.”

“You speaking from experience?” Toph asked.

Sokka took a drag. The smoke lingered in his lungs. He exhaled and felt a weight leave his chest. “Sorta? I was still figuring myself out in high school and never fully let myself process the feelings I had for any guy. Just classic repressed bisexual things.” He passed the blunt back to Toph. “The rest is all yours.”

She thanked him.

Sokka watched as the embers glowed one last time before the butt was crushed against the table and turned to ash.

A breeze rustled the leaves.

Toph exhaled the last of the smoke before asking, “You ever think back on who you used to be and wonder if you ran into them today would you even recognize them?”

“I mean, I’ve certainly changed a lot physically.” Sokka mused.

“Hmm. But what about, just, as a person? I think back on the me from three years ago and struggle to see myself in her. She was so well behaved; she never talked back; she barely even went out; she certainly didn’t smoke. But now, here I am. I’m all moved out, I work at some bar where I have to yell at people, I’m smoking in a park.”

“Yeah, that sounds like two very different people. But I imagine that the former did play some sort of role in shaping who you are today, even if you no longer identify much with that version of yourself. I think it would take a minute to see myself in the me from three years ago. 16-year-old Sokka was such an optimist in ways I don’t think I’ll ever be again. He was working through so much shit – to be fair, I still am – but now I’m dealing with different shit, and I like to think that I’m better at working through this shit than my old shit. Does that make sense?” 

“I think so? It’s a bummer about your optimism.” Said Toph.

“Yeah… Losing a parent can do that to a person, I guess.” Sokka half joked.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Toph said softly.

“Thanks.” Said Sokka.

Silence. A chorus of barks erupted from the dog park.

“Sorry, I don’t know why I said that.” Sokka gave an awkward laugh. “I know that sort of thing makes people uncomfortable, I guess I wasn’t quite thinking through what I was saying.”

“Hey, man. It’s all good.” She gave him a wry smile, “Smoking weed can do that to a person.” 

Sokka snorted. 

The barks died off and mixed back into the city soundscape. 

He vaguely noted how his body didn’t feel so tense. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. Toph is a stoner. What about it.


End file.
